My · Drama!!

Wow,
I have really missed writing in this thing! I used to write in it quiet a bit! Oh well things change, but I think i am going to start releasing my thoughts again! I will be updating it more! I have nothing to say except The 4th of July was awesome! I got to spend it with alot of my close friends, and most importantly the love of my life! I love my Boy friend so much! He is what motivates me to be me! I love him! ok I am going to go crawl back in bed with him now! I love being 18 its awesome!

I dont know how i feel or what i am thinking. Have u ever thought about something so much u dont even know what to think about it ne more! I have i stayed up all night thinking why? how? and is it just me being stupid! I think i will let things pass as i sit home on my freakin ass! I am so tired of worrying that i am just go to sleep! i am so done worrying about things i cant control so i will just let things go! When i think of how things are i just wonder if things are as bad as they seem! Then i realize its not. I wake up with a smile on my face and realize how much i am in love with u! I realize how u felt and understand what needs to be done! I love you and u love me so we can just let things be!!

I love you Jim and I am sorry that things bothered me this much!
I love you trust u and know that we are going to be together for a long time
as long as we just communicate!
I want to be this girl for you!

Josie"

Yeah, my girlfriend takes me home when I'm too drunk to drive
And she doesn't get all jealous when I hang out with the guys
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does
She brings me mexican food from Sombrero's just because
(Yeah, just because)

And my girlfriend likes U.L. and D.H.C.
And she's so smart and independent, I don't think she needs me
Quite half as much as I know I need her
I wonder why there's not another guy that she'd prefer

And when I feel like giving up
Like my world is falling down

I show up at 3am
She's still up watching Vacation, and I
See her pretty face
It takes me away to a better place and

(I know that everything {3x}) Everything's gonna be fine
(I know that everything {3x}) Everything's gonna be fine

Yeah, my girlfriend takes collect calls from the road
And it doesn't seem to matter that I'm lacking in the bulge
She laughs at my dumb jokes when no one does
She brings me mexican food from Sombrero's just because

And when I feel like giving up
Like my world is falling down

I show up at 3am
She's still up watching Vacation, and I
See her pretty face
It takes me away to a better place and

I love Jim so so much and there is nothing in this world that could ever change that! So i wasnt suppose to see him tonight cuz he was going to go out with the guys and i would just see him tomorrow! Well so i talked to him earlier tonight and he said he hadn't been having a good day and i felt really bad. There was nothing i could do or say it seemed like to make him feel better! SO then my dad called on the other line and i had to get it cuz my dad had surgey today! So when i tried to call him back he didnt answer! I was a little annoyed i have to say but i understood cuz he was having a really bad day! So then i am just watching a movie with my mom( without a paddle) Which was freakin haliarious by the way! Then he called and was like do u think ur mom would care if i came and saw u for a little while! Ahh my heart just melted and i got the biggest butterflies in my stomach and i wanted to scream! I was so excited! I am so in love with him! I mean he didnt have to come see me. But he did! He has to be the greatest guy i have ever met! My mom and dad both really like him he is amazing to me and the way he treats me! He can be a little overbearing, but to tell you the truth it dosent really bother me at all! It makes me feel like he cares and i love that feeling! I dont know how he deals with me! He is so awesome and i can be such a bitch sometimes to him! God he is just amazing at everything he does!*hehe* One thing that really makes me admire him is how he is so responisble! I mean what 19 year old guy would rather pick staying at home and getting stuff done and waking up for work on time than going out and drinking with his friends? I only know one! That just amazes me how he acts so mature! I feel like he teaches me so much and pushes me to be a better person! I know i sound so mushy but i am! I mean I have never felt this way about ne one in my whole life! I know that i am young and shouldnt be thinking about marriage and the future and all of that stuff! But i can totally see my self with him for a long time! I mean he is the kinda person i want to spend the future with! I am in love and it feels great! I love my James Daniel! If u read this i want u to know that u mean so much to me and not to worry cuz i dont worry about our relationship! Its perfect and i wouldnt do ne thing or want ne thing to ever mess it up! I love you and i hope u always know that!

Well,
So i was confused about a few things in my life but when u realize that life is too short to worry about stupid stuff! Thats all i have to say life is too short to worry about small stuff! I had an awesome day and i love you all!! Hope all is well!!

Love,
~Amanda~

Well I think I finally know that answer to true love! Its when u think about someone non stop and you would rather hang out with them then go to a party or even sometimes to hang out with ur friends. Its when you doddle, you doddle their name or something that makes u think of them! I think its when u can never say i love you and eachother still knows that u mean it! Or its when the words "I LOVE YOU" never get old! Its when u fight about dumb stuff just so u can make up! Its that feeling you get when you know u have made them smile and nothing else in the world could make u happier!Its when they call and u get butterflies and when they hang up you just want them to call right back! Or when he calls just to say i love you and nothing else! I love these feelings and i think i think i am in love! I hope everyone gets to feel this feeling one time or another!

If u are in love right now please leave a sentence to describe it to me!! hehe

Love always and Forever,
~Amanda~ AkA Ti Ti Tush!

I just want everyone to know that i didnt make my journal look like this i have to give all of the credit to Lauren Lea!! She is amazing at this stuff look how cool this is!!! Thanks again it looks amazing!!

Ok so everything has been going pretty great!! I mean My friends situation is good and my family situation is ok! I have to say lately everything with Jim has been going pretty well too!! He is an awesome person. Sometimes i get upset cuz we cant spend as much time as i would like together, but i know he trys really hard so i try not to get so pissy!! But we do spend a fair amount of time together, so i dont know why i bitch. I guess its just cuz i love hanging out with him! But its just in my nature!! I love his little heart to death!! He is such an awesome guy! Like yesterday he came over to my dads house and we took all of the little kids that were over to the park and we played tag!! It was way awesome!! I love him so much and he is so awesome to me!! I sometimes also get mad when he goes and plays golf instead of hanging out with me! But u know what i bet i have one of the few guys in this world his age that actually has priorites and sticks with them!! I love that so much about him and i respect him so much cuz of that!! i love you James Daniel!


Ok,everything is going great!! I love you all and tell me what u think!!

WOW this break has gone by really really fast!! I have been having such an awesome time with my friends and boy friend!! i love my life except for my situation at my dads house but oh well!! I finally got a night alone with my best friend it was awesome!! We foudn the funniest movie ever!! Limmionie smickets!! I am not sure how to spell it! It was really funny though!! i have to tell you i am so in love with my boy friend Jim!! He is such an awesome guy that i love spending every second i can with him! I am not sure how it happened that i have fallen so fast in love with him! I dont know if he feels all of the same way! i am so excited that i feel this way but i hope that he feel a little fo the same way!! Ok well i hope u all are having a great break!! Talk to u all really soon!!

love always
~Amanda~

So i think i had one of the best weekends ever. I went and hung out with my boy friend and our best friends on fri night. Then on sat. i went shopping with my mom at the mall and she let me pick out all of my christmas presesnts!! It was awesome, i cant have or wear them until christmas but i still know what they are!! I also got my second hole pierced in my ear!! Then on sat i got to go back to the mall with my boy friend and then to starbucks!! We then came home and cuddled and watched a movie (Gladiator) on my living room floor!! With no one else home except us so we got to cuddle the whole time and just be alone!! It was fun!! I am falling so in love with him. He makes me feel so awesome and loved!! I love you James Daniel!!

Hope you all had a great weekend like i did!!

Love always
<3~Amanda~<3

So i have been thinking lately espicaly the past few days that life is so short!! I have realized that you can only take life one day at a time, cuz there is no way to perdict the future!! I am falling so in love with my boy friend! I mean he is the greatest guy on eaerth and i am not just saying that! I though that he didnt care about me but i realized that he does and just shows it in his own way, that is what i love most about him! I am sometimes really hard to deal with and i totally understand that, but he puts up with me and does it patiently!! I just hoped i havent pushed him to far away!! I am so in love with him and i hope he knows that!! I WUV you more than i have ever loved ne guy in my life!! Have a great day!!

Love always
~Amanda~

Hello all,
I forgot how good it feels to write down what u are thinking and feeling!!
So some new updates in my life
1. I have a boy friend, 2 months now actually the 26th was our 2 month! We are together all the time i am sure unless it is at like 3 in the morning we aren't but u get my point!! He was one of my best friends for like a year and then we finally decided to get together!! I am so much in love with him! I know that some people think wow that is quick, i thought so too but when ur in love u just know!! Maybe it could be lust but i can see myself with him for a long time!! The best part is he feels the same way!! I have never been more head over heels for a guy! He is so awesome to me! I have never had a guy treat me like a princess and he does. I have seriously liked him for a year and i could never get him out of my mind even though sometimes we just wouldnt get a long and he was kinda mean to me!! I still always liked him!! I think i kinda knew this is how it would be if we actually were together! I wish we could have started sooner because we wasted time on fighting and thinking we hated eachother. But oh well, i just hope he knows how much he means to me. P.S he is the cutest guy i have ever dated!! I will soon have a pic of him on here!! I Love you James Daniel... AKA P*r*h*i*n* hehe (inside joke) Ok well if u want to know more about him just keep reading i am just i will brag about how awesome he is alot more!! hehe
2.I have stayed out of trouble for almost 3 months now!! go me!!! (With Jim's help)
3.I haven't been this happy in a very long time! Its like the song, something has got to go wrong i am feelin way too damn good!! that is exactly how i feel!!
4. I love Jim, oh wait shit i already said that one!! Oh well. hehehe


Ok well i want to tell u all what he did for me the other day!! He cooked me dinner!! ahh i know how cute. I was so excited cuz it was me him and tori, which is my best friend and Nick which is his best friend and it was like old times!! It was so great and he is an awesome cook!!

So yesterday was our two month i am so excited about it i cant wait for more ann. to come!!

I have to tell u one thing that i love most about him, there are alot of things that i love but this is one that makes me smile always!! I think it has to do with the fear of being rejeceted or the fear of feeling not wanted, which my ex did all the time!! Not mentioning ne names of anything. But he always wants to spend time with me!! I mean any time he can he will spend time with me! I love that!! He will make special plans cuz we all know i still dont drive, for me to be there!! I also love how even though he hates talking on the phone, he will still talk to me when i feel like talking!! (well most of the time!) Ok i am done telling u how wonderful he is, cuz i know all of u are probably like shut the fuck up!! But i hope u are happy for me cuz we all know some of the times i have gone through!!

Ok well i hope all is doing well and i will talk to u all soon!! Leave me a message and tell me how u are doing!!!

Love always
~Amanda~ AKA(Ti-Ti-Tush) Just for u Jim!!

Hey All,

So.... I am trying to stay out of trouble!! But my rents are like freaking stockers and wont let me live my life!! So i am like under house arrest!! I am so tired of it i cant wait to be 18 and get the hell out of their house!! I dont care if i have to live in a crappy place but i am so out of here once i turn 18! Uhh they make me resent them so much! I wish they would just leave me alone and let me be!! I would be so much happier!! Only a few more months until i turn 18!! But i have to say i am really happy with Jim right now! He is being so awesome to me and it makes me so happy to see that he is trying!! I really like him and i think he is really starting to like me!! Well i still have my best friend tori of course!! We are always together and i love her for ever and always!! Well if my rents keep trippin i dont know if i can take it ne more!! I just want to be like peace the fuck out, i would if i was 18 now!! hehe They say i just need to wait until i am 18 then they will let me do whatever, but i think they are full of shit cuz they will pull the while your under my house bull!! Oh well i hope everyone else is well and if u have the same problem as i do let me know that i am not alone!! hehe have a good night or day depending on when u read this!! hehe
Look at the lyrics to linkin park's numb!!!

Wow,
So i have been dumb again and got grounded but i am finally ungrounded now!! hehe i dont know what my problem is!! Wait maybe its not me maybe its my parents! Oh wait it is! hehe. Well i have been doing lots of thinking while i was grounded and i have come to some conclusions, i am just going to have to wait until i am 18 to do anything fun! Cuz my rents are physico. I mean i cant even go to a party with out them freakin out and following me there!! Jeeze!!!!
Well no men in my life right now!! I am so freaking picky, so i decided to just date. I really want to find someone that is worth my time and will be as committed as i am! I dont know if i just too picky for that to happen, but it seems like whatever i do i always push them away. and if its someone i really do like the circumstances are all wrong and it wont ever work out!! I just want to find a guy that will treat me for what i am worth. I want him to be... well i guess it dosent matter what i want him to be because from they way its looking it wont be soon when i find that!!
Ok well i hope all is well with everyone!! I miss some of my fave people that i havent talked to in awhile!

Love me and leave me some comments!!

~Amanda~

Hey,
Well i had a pretty good day!! I still like Jeramie!! he is so sweet and cute to me!! i love that!! I am finally happy!!hehe wow did that take a while!!

k i dont really have ne thing else to say so leave me a message!!
love Kid

Hey all,
Well i am back from being ungrounded again!! got caught ditching!! Well i hope all is well with everyone!! i know i am good except from being grounded!! hehe i cant wait until i am 18 grr it is going by too slowly!! I kinda like being a senior though!! Ok i finally found out what i want...guy wise ne ways!! i like this guy Jeramie!! No if ands or buts about it!! hehe! Well nothing much is really new in my life!! Jeramie and i are dating but thats about it!

Well love me and leave me a message!!

Well....
This was a pretty awesome week! I mean i hung out everyday with my best friend(Tori) If you all didnt know that by now! Today i am suppose to go hang out with Jeramie, but i dont want to hang out with him by ourselves. So i am hoping we can hang out with Tori and Nick. But i dont know cuz Nick wants Tori alone. Hey i said i was happy for them going out not that happy he could take time away from me and my best friend!! Oh Well huh like i always say life sucks get a helmet. Ok well all have a great weekend and i will see u on Monday morning!! Or if Not i will talk to u soon i am sure!!!

~~Amanda~~

Yeah....
SO about the guy that i like....... Well he is a pretty cool guy but i just am not sure what i really want!! I mean i like him and he is cool but i am not sure if i want a boy friend! I am so indecisive... grrrr i get to so mad at myself!! Then little Jermie likes me and i dont know how i feel about that!! So i just dont know!! We will have to see how things go!! I want to tell Jake that i dont want to be seriuos though cuz i dont know if i do!! I just want to take it day by day!! I need freakin help! I dont know i am so condused!!

So.........
I know i have said this like a thousand times but i found someone new i like!! His name is Jake!! What a qawink a dink!! he works next door to me!! he has black hair and blue eyes!! hehe my fave thing!! And he is way taller than me!! What a plus!! So ne ways enough about that!! Oh we are going to hang out tomorrow after school!! Way excited!! ok well i will talk to u on the flip side!!

So..........
Things havent been going to well in my little circle of friends!! Well with just one person!! I mean i am really sad about it! All i want to do is cry cuz i dont know what else to do about it!! I have liked this kid for so long and have so many feelings for him but like always when i fall for a guy some how it never ends up working out in my favor!! I mean if he just gave me a chance it would be perfect!! But........ We all know thats not going to happen! It never does!! Oh well
So tonight I hung out with this guy that i have had feelings for for a long time and we had the best time!! We cuddled on the couch and i got a nice back rub!! Oh it felt so great to just be held again!! i Missed it and didnt realize how much i did!! But i think i am going to give this one a chance! I think i like him but ihave so many different feelings who knows what i feel!! But oh well!! School starts tomorrow for me cuz i am doing freshman orinetaion!! ahhhhhh!!

Oh well summers 0ver but it kicked ass and i woudlnt trade it for anything!! I love you tori lynn and i wil never forget this summer!!!

Well its me and i am ready to go back to school!! Well leave a comment cuz i want to know how everyone is doing!! love you all!!!

Your Horoscope Cancer

Daily Overview
July 22, 2004

Ready to move toward the future -- and actually let the past go? If so, the universe is willing to help. Put it all behind you and start over.

This just made my day!! I just got back from a movie with My soon to be new boy friend Jermie!! Yeah i tried it once with him well i never really got a chance!! Well i hope he wants to be with me!! I think i am going to let the past go!!
Soo i am talking to him on the phone right now and uhhh i like him so so much!! Well hopefully things will work out!! We are hanging out tomorrow so we will see! Well hope everyone is sleeping well cuz tommorrow i am waking up at the buck crack of dawn for link crew so talk to u all later!!